So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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