He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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