i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
