Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
