You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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