GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize