Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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