Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
