When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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