you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
