i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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