I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
