Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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