Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
