Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
