Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
