3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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