That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize