Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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