so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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