I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dual....:-)
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
