OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
