is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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