watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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