Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
