It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
