If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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