eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
