I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
