either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize