dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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