Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
