I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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