none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
