East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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