hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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