Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
