Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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