i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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