Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
