Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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