Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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