I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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