This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just gift wrapped bread.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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