Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
