gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
