I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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