I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
