hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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