idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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