Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
