ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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