NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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