I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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