Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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