worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
