I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize