She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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