I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
