Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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