It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
