hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
