We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize