Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
