im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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