'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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