Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
