Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
