just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize