felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
